7 months today. 05-08-08/12-08-08.So, today was the first of many new developments happening in my life. I am currently working 4 days a week for personal reasons. Some day I hope to share the entire story of how this came to be, including an AMAZING school system, a team a teachers and administrators people only dream of working with, a compassionate doctor, and most importantly, the support from my husband and family. One day...but as of today...I'm not ready.
Today was just another Monday to most people in the world. To me, it marked the seventh time I heard the date and shuttered, the seventh time I dreaded 3pm, the seven-millionth time I cried about my Steph. Today I have been energized, loved, sad, depressed, angry, and joyful...because today I gave Steph the tree of her dreams. It has a tiara for a topper, and pink, purple, and sparkle garland. I mean, come on...even Doug said she'd have wanted this in her bedroom. I think I'm going to keep it. If I take it down after the holidays it won't get thrown away and I can make it part of my NEW tradition. Decorating Steph's tree-for her-for me. One day, maybe Scotty and Sara will join me, but for today it was my way to tell her no holiday, no christmas, no day will ever be the same without her, but I will be okay.
Starting today; my first Monday "off"
I will be okay.
New work schedule
New exercise plan
New "meeting"
New Monday lunch date
New tradition
New Normal-all these things are going to become part of my normal, but for now they are all NEW.
Thanks Stephanie.
10 comments:
Katie-
That tree is amazing. Stephanie is definitely smiling down on all of you. Thinking of you today and always.
katie-it's so hard to find the right words to say, but please know i am thinking of you... stephie's tree is absolutely beautiful!!
How lucky you are to live in such a wonderful place. I hope Monday become your new SUN Days and that with each passing one you heal a little more.
Still praying for you and your Stephie,
Betsy
It's a beautiful tree! I'm glad you are surrounded with so much support & love. That's so great about the 4 days.
wishing you and your family peace and love always.
Michele
oh katie, i love the tree!!! i hate the day, and the reason and all the other crap- but the tree!!! i think i need to take lizzie to see the tree.
(((((hugs))))
wow! what a community you have. i've searched for that - i grew up with that - and miss it so much.
i can feel the positive energy in this post is . i loved your NEW tradition of the beautiful tree.
Woot to the new exercise plan! I hear ya on that.
Nothing ever becomes okay about it, but I hope it does get easier. I'm glad your friends are physically there to support you since I cannot be...
That is absolutely beautiful. I know it is not the same but I also know you can feel her soul close to you.
I really like the tree...What a great idea!
You are a wonderful mother, Katie.
AmyK811
Glad to see you on here....I love the tree...definitely fit for a Princess. I hope you found a way to have joy during this holiday time. I think the tradition will be wonderful for you as each year goes on. Her tree will grow for her...
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